Abbotsford Invalid Stout

What better way to enjoy Melbourne than to buy more beers that you're sure are going to be terrible?

On that note, we have this. And just imagine my joy when I found out after buying that's it's brewed by CUB.

The bottle looks like an RSL, and probably tastes like one too. Has a fizzy, artificially empty head like a soft drink and the taste follows; this is thin almost beyond belief. There's a vague reference to stout there somewhere but it's horribly indistinct and buried under some devilish creation that put me more in mind of soda water than anything else.

Invalid. Yes indeed. 1.5

Doss Blockos Pale Lager

Sigh. This has to be the most Melbourne beer I've seen.

Yes, that's an individual paper bag. The bottle itself is actually far more colourful but one photo only chaps.

This is also a pale lager. So I was clearly buying this beer just so I could spew bile over it.

My rage was forestalled slightly on first contact as it produced an aroma with some hop character, little bit of fruit. Beer itself is kind of odd in terms of structure. A sour / bitter start with fizz, then turns into VB more or less with a bit of grape characteristic in there also.

The label tells me it's 'stripped bare' - yeah, I guess - but there's something a bit unpleasant here I'd prefer was covered up. 4.0

Red Hill Golden Ale

First swing at Red Hill, which is apparently allergic to photos.

Can't say I'm too great a fan of 'golden ale' usually anyway but this thing was a bit of a surprise in that it did more of a pilsner trick than anything else.

Aroma mostly of bittering hops, odd sort of flavour profile kind of like a kolsch, light malt finish. Not a lot to speak of in the way of flavour? And thus a short review, and a summary 3.0

HeBrew Bittersweet Lenny's R.I.P.A.

Garrgh I hate the name. And the bottle, both its design and the way it's upside down.

Still, this came with a recommendation and it was filled high in the bottle.

Rye and malt dominate the start but it ramps up nicely into a fair whack of hop presence here too. There's a bit of alcohol there as would be expected from the 10% ABV but it's not badly hidden by any stretch, the bitterness and development of the beer mean it's a companion, not a foe.

I quite enjoyed the stroll through this beer, given the strength of it. A much better option than the Spartacus. 7.5 .. nearly 8.0 ..

McCashin Family Brewery Stoke Dark

I wasn't looking forward to this for some reason.

I think mostly because I couldn't tell in the bottle-o whether this was supposed to be a porter or a dark ale of some description, and I'm still a little lost now.

It's closer to the porter overall in terms of taste characteristics but there's a big caramel, heavy amber ale sort of quality there too. The way it sits there cola coloured in the glass is a bit sweet heavy and malevolent too particularly given it's just the 4.5%. Apparently it's tank conditioned for a few weeks to give it a honey like quality. That explains things a bit?

I quite like this on the whole, it's a bit different. It's not a raging success but I'd still recommend to try once. 7.0

Bridge Roads / Nøgne Ø India Saison (return leg)

Having tried (and meh'd at) the danish leg of operations we took bat against those battlers from Beechworth, Bridge Roads.

Strong herbal, plantlike, earthy, pine driven nose. Bit of citrus there also. Pours with a bit of sediment, light in the glass, but big frothy cloudy expanse of head. Very different to the euro version already.

First reaction to the taste is a genuine "are you sure this is the same recipe"? Hops dominant, the mix of stella and galaxy is green, fresh and quenching. Snaps into a lasting bitterness at the end that lingers coquettishly until you drink some more. 7.5% and well hidden, spot on.

It can't be simply the water that results in such a distortion can it? Perhaps the danish brewing equivalent of the swedish chef was all up in that Nøgne Ø, borking his way to the brew they created. This is an object of some wonder nevertheless.

8.5

Little Creatures Rogers

Lightweights rejoice for your saviour has come.

Hadn't had this one in quite a while either, but pleased to find it still stacks up as a pretty respectable example and one of the best in its class at just 3.8%.

Nondescript aroma gives way to a sweet floral malty body. It's light and gently carbonated, but I don't agree it's empty as some have said. Chrysanthemum puts me in mind a bit of sweet green tea in a can.


Easy drinking, flavoursome midstrength. There will continue to be a market for this sort of thing. 7.5

Mountain Goat Rare Breed Rye IPA

Goat rare breed = pretty much automatic 'buy' recommendation so far.. but this is the pick of the crop by a distance.

Quite light and transparent in the glass, lovely colour and a creamy blanket of head. Hops come through with hints of citrus, earthy grass, an agricultural production a little like hop hog but less rampantly intense.

Rye hits first then developing hops, slight bitter herbal notes, lovely stuff. It's a very light almost watery sort of a mouthfeel but this is oddly suited to provide the round rye experience but still leave it quenching and delicious. Nice long aftertaste.

Very impressed. Very happy we had a second bottle of this chilling also. And depressed they were sold out of additional supplies when we went back to the bottle-o the next day.

8.5

Murray's Spartacus

Woof, a beer out of the Murray's corner, weighing in at 10%.

Pours heavy as one might expect, nose is a bit frightening, texture is oily. I feel like they've tried to throw a malty blanket over the alcohol and not quite covered some corners of it. It slips out at the end and ruins your perfectly good picnic.

Is this really an IPA? What does 'imperial' mean? Where are the feted hops (outside of a bit of citrus character and indistinct bitterness)? All unanswered.

A beer for laying down and avoiding. 6.0

Beard and Brau Black Snout Milk Stout

I'm clearly a sucker for bottles with animals on them it seems. Particularly if they also say interesting things like "milk stout" and the like. And if the animals are schnauzers.

750ml beauty this, and a big thick heavy bottle too.

Bit too aerated I must say (becoming a bit of an unfortunate trend with these porters?) - had to basically leave it a while to let it settle and improve. While doing so you sort of notice that while this pours deep opaque black it's actually bubbling away merrily within. Hmm.

You also note the aroma - dark chocolate, coffee mocha sort of style. Nice mocha colour to the head also.

This does indeed have a sort of waxen quality to it that I suppose can be attributed to the 'milk stout' lactose injection. It's still a bit sort of empty in places though. Would like to see it bulked up a bit.
6.5

Boston's Mill Pale Ale

Took a bit of research to find out what I was actually drinking here haha. Bar staff seemed puzzled when my boss asked what sort of pale ale it was .."it's pale ale". "Er yes but .. um .. well what company?"

Quite a fruity nose. If I had to make a call on it I'd say it's an APA in the style of Atomic and the like, but the brewer claims it's English instead. Fair enough I guess.

In any case it's malty and fruity if a little empty, pleasant but light hopping. Didn't make me screech about Pride of Ringwood at all so that's a plus. Pretty drinkable I found. Had 3 more in an hour before jumping the taxi just to make sure. And yes it's a 6.5.

Murray's Porter

Murray's porter has been in fridges all over the place tempting me with its quite exorbitant (for an Aus 350ml beer) price tag. I finally noticed it was 8% and that was enough to push me over the line.

OK 8% is not a small amount. But shit it tells you all about it at all stages through the mouthful. I've had much stronger beers say much less about their ethanol.. seems clumsy rather than intentional. It's less a warming alcohol and more a front of mouth blast quite intrusive to taste.

Outside of that.. it's attractive enough in a pitch sort of way. Aroma mostly burnt smokey odours. Sits light in the glass and out of the bottle though - the antithesis of viscous. More like a dark ale than a porter? Little bit of choc, rounds out coffeeish.

In all though what's there isn't good, and you have to slog through a watery, alcohol dominated mouthful of unpleasantness to get there. Can't see getting this again. 2.0

Bridge Road Bling IPA

BLING!

Having recently unfollowed the main brewer from this place on twitter due to his relentless selfcongratulatory retweet campaign, I went to the bottleshop to give him some more of my hard earned.

This pours pretty murky - rates a 4.5 for hops and a 3.5 for malts according to the label. That seems pretty accurate, it's fruity initially with hops but complemented with a fair whack of malt there. Kind of grainy mouth feel but not bad at all. Carbonation gentle and well suited, not cloying.

Nice big balanced IPA on the whole. 7.5

Mountain Goat Hightail Ale

OK time to settle if it's worth paying the extra for the special version of this ..

Short answer: yes very much so definitely indeed you betcha.

I recall enjoying this the first time but it's all a bit so-so given a bit further attention. Malt doesn't compare. Nose doesn't compare. It's really a very different product.

This is fine as it is, not bad by any stretch. But if you had a fleeting romance with the rare breed and then start living on this again.. you'll be left wondering if you married the wrong beer. 6.0

Paulaner Hefe-Weizen (Hefe-Weissbier Naturtrüb)

Can Paulaner put flavour in a beer? Let's find out.

My first impression of the aroma from the bottle was frankly, 'a bin with a banana in it'. Others call it earthy. I call it not a great start.

Pours darkish, lovely frothy white head, takes well to a cold glass. In the wider format there's more fruit salad in the nose, quite nice.

I can't claim to be an expert on this style and there's a reason - most I've had have been fun for 100ml then novelty banana acts .. not really to my taste. This is far better for mine - light carbonation, good mix of fruity flavours with the wheatbeer mouthfeel makes it really easy to put away and a fun journey getting there too.

As an example of the style it's a winner for me no doubt. 7.5

Paulaner Oktoberfest Bier

Germany. Land of oktobers.

Not sure quite what to say about this though. It's very clean, light to the point of transparency, and almost without character save a very light malty presence.

It's inoffensive, and slightly impressive that it's 6% I guess? I'd need to be in full quaffing-down-the-front-of-my-sausage-filled-lederhosen mode to go this again though. 2.5

Lord Nelson Brewery Three Sheets Pale Ale

Pretty involved artwork on this one, but turns out it's from an old brewpub on the rocks in Sydney.

Consensus is it smells like vanilla fudge.. odd but not unpleasant. Bit of caramel in there. Low head, but that makes it quite drinkable.

Taste puts me in mind of some sort of dessert also, and the malt lingers chocolate style for a few seconds. I didn't find the sweetness too cloying or artificial though, quite enjoyed this really, not at all complex but a bit different. It's never going to be your best mate but it's a bit of fun from time to time.

7.0

Murray's Angry Man Pale Ale

Another ferociously popping bottle from Murray's. You want a fight, angry man?

No, no it doesn't. Instead it's pretty saccharine sweet and floral, almost powdery grainy sweetness. It's a little fizzy I guess if that counts, but apart from that it's among the more gentle beers I've met. Beers need to stop being misleading with their bravado.

Um. Pleasant enough. Probably not really for me though. 6.5

Stone Pale Ale

A return to the Stone brewery from California, here we have their flagship beer Stone Pale Ale.

I had to change my expectations for this beer upon opening and smelling the brew. With a nose low on hops and a powerful waft of malt, I quickly realized that I was going to a very different place than the Ruination takes you. But at least it is a friendly place, that doesn't try to bend you over and clean your insides with a bushel of hops.

Drinking reveals a good strong taste with plenty of malty goodness and a nice clean bitterness at the end. This isn't a beer trying to wow you with its fancy hops tasting like all sorts of wild things or have a complex flavour that needs to be savored to be enjoyed.. This beer takes you to malt town, hands you some hops to sniff and then slaps you in the face. Clean and simple, stronger on the malt than some pale ales, but overall it knows what it wants to do.

A lovely beer to drink, without feeling like I need to take my time. Looking forward to more, an easy 8.0.

Kooinda Black I.P.A.

No pop, just gently carbonated. A good start.

Nose is chocolate stout, but with nelson sauvin hops passionfruit edge.. a different but mouthwatering proposition. I get chocolate cherry sorts of notes also, bit like a black forest cake. Opaque black body, lovely tan coloured head that laces all over the shop but does dissipate a little.

This label's got a bit more on it than their pale ale. 70+ IBUs, using dehusked malt to produce the black beer along with a swathe of other malt types, plus late 7-day dry hopping. At 7% there's 1.8 drinks to the bottle. All of this sounds very good indeed.

On first taste it's almost more bitter than expected but a wonderfully complex development takes you through the initial burst of fruity bitter hops (slight nectarine again?) and through to a cocoa finish. Takes a few seconds to get through the stages to the end.

Another bloody brave effort from these guys - nothing held back here, it's big and bold in all ways and I like that a lot. Great stuff. 8.0

4 Pines Kolsch

Hm. Pop went the cap and the aroma reminded me more of the lamentable Sunner effort than its heroic siblings at Eagle Bay / Duckstein and other places.

In fact there was a bit of sediment high in the bottle for this one also - not sure what that represents - but probably not a good thing. Perhaps this beer wasn't in top condition when it reached me. The head too was pretty vicious but also collapsed in on itself in strange ways. Really not sure this was in optimal shape.

Taste wise .. carbonation strikes first (possibly a product of the above) but gives way to a pleasant enough drop. It's quite quenching, a summer beer for sure, and light to the point of transparency. Bit more character and citrus flavour as it gets warmer.

This grew on me a little as I kept drinking .. but not a great deal. Perhaps the bottle was a little off, but not overly impressed. 5.0

4 Pines Stout

The first venture into 4 Pines, from whom I'd seen a bit but never tried.

This claims on the neck to be the world's first space beer - but as a marketing initiative it had pretty much the opposite effect on me at least. I almost didn't buy it due to this wankery - while I'm all for martian beer, what I want to buy myself personally is something that is bloody good down here on Urth.

Having said all that I'm very glad I did get this in the end - it's a dark chocolate based stout - sits heavy in the glass, sports a deep black hue, minor low head from the start, soon dissipates. Maybe the aeration & head are something to do with the space initiative? Wasn't a problem on our planet though, just made it easier to drink.

Burnt smoky flavour develops through the mouthful. Mostly cocoa flavours apart from that.

---

Edit: tried this once more and bumped it down a bit, perhaps a bit overenthused the first time around due to it coming after a swathe of shit other beers. It's good but sort of lacking roundness (doesn't really develop as such like a good stout, bit too carbonated / light in terms of mouthfeel, bit waxy in terms of taste? 7.0

Knappstein Enterprise Brewery Reserve Lager

Having destroyed Squires for its miserable plunder we needed to resort to bottled beer to wash the mouth out.

Knappstein's been around at least a couple years now and I've been impressed with it from day 1. On the flip side, I'm drinking far better quality beer more often now (ask my wallet) and so I wondered vaguely if this would continue to stack up.

Pleasingly, it does. The dominant flavours are spicy passionfruit hops, with a backing vanilla undertone. It's easy drinking and tasty, plus 5.6% to boot. What's not to love? Hopefully this winery-and-now-brewery are working on more projects now given the deserved success of this drop.

I'm still shocked this counts as a 'lager' - don't see how a lager is going to beat this in its field on current evidence? Can only wait expectantly and see. 8.0

James Squires 150 Lashes Pale Ale

At last. The day of reckoning.

I'd had this on tap in Sydney several months ago and oddly enjoyed it - then came back and bought a carton in Perth only to hate every stinking last drop of it. This then would be the decider in a very fair setting - the lair of the foul brewer himself.

What can I say - this is pretty bloody horrible. Is it really a pale ale even or some sort of unpleasant hybrid lager? Light, fizzy, fluffy, and with no real taste outside of an offputting sour (rather than bitter) edge.

Above and beyond not delivering on any of its claims to be a craft beer (or even a premium beer) [or even a beer actually come to think of it], this is actually really very unpleasant as well.

"Never Forsake Flavour" eh Squires? Don't make me laugh. 1.0

Mad Brewers' Hoppy Hefe

After looking down the row of taps at this place and asking in vain for a porter, I ended up with the hoppy hefe brewed by Squires basically under a different name.

Bar staff said "it's 7% .. is that ok?" .. I almost laughed.

Hefeweizen is typically an unfiltered wheatbear with an often banana dominated flavour. This came out quite dark though oddly. Very little aroma either.

There's just a hint of banana in this one too but it's buried under sour citrus and possibly the insane carbonation also. I'm not sure where the hops were supposed to be. Not a lot of character throughout in fact.. just a kind of oddly placed bitterness. Can't think this is what the brewers were aiming for? I feel ripped off more than anything.

I didn't really get on with this beer at all. Sounds harsh but I can't think when I'd choose it again. 2.5